Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan got dressed up - sort of - for a Halloween costume party earlier this week.

Mother and daughter look absolutely thrilled to be photographed, don't they?

Perhaps the pressure of being talentless, famous and annoying is finally getting to these two. Ali needs to find her own Samantha Ronson, while Dina needs to find a way to slip into a coma.

Despite reports of a feud between Lindsay Lohan and America Ferrera on the set of Ugly Betty, Dina Lohan says her daughter had fun working on the show.

"It was just silly," Dina Lohan said. "America's a doll. And when they said [Lindsay Lohan] brought a posse with her, it was my mother and myself, and [sister Ali Lohan]. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room."

Dina adds that Lindsay doesn't know why her six-episode guest stint on the ABC show was cut to four, but says the actress enjoyed her time there.

"She had fun on Ugly Betty," says Dina at Animal Fair magazine's Halloween Pet Costume Party in New York City. "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to TV, but it was fun."

A LOHAN FAMILY MOMENT: America's favorite family smiles for the camera.

As for Lindsay's relationship with her girlfriend, Michael Lohan isn't the only parent signing off on the girl-on-girl action - Dina approves as well.

"We've known the family for years, so it's great," says the White Oprah of Samantha Ronson. "Sam is so tough and smart. "She's a sweetheart."

Adds sister Ali Lohan, "We just want to make a $h!tload of money Lindsay to be happy. Whatever she is happy doing, we're happy with."

Ali Lohan and her mom Dina attended the Animal Fair Magazine's 8th Annual Halloween Pet Costume Party last night. Based on a true story. DINA: Okay, Ali, we're going to a backroom now where you're going to drink milk out of a saucer while a man hands mommy a stack of cash. ALI: But, moooommm... DINA: You will do it! You will fucking do it! They are not repo-ing my Lexus again! I refuse to show up at the country club in a rental! For God's sake, Ali, I might as well shit my pants on the 18th hole! DO YOU HEAR ME? NOW GET IN THERE BEFORE I TAKE YOUR DOG AND DROWN IT IN THE TUB UNTIL HIS LITTLE PUPPY EYES BURST! AAAAAHHH! ALI: Jesus. Okay. DINA: That's mommy's favorite. Whiskey's in my purse to take the edge off. Love you.

Oh how…..nice.

Dina and Ali Lohan showed up to Animals Fair magazine's 8th Annual Halloween Pet Costume Party in New York on Monday night.

Ali brought her bitch dressed up as a cat!

Er, wait.

Dina brought her bitch dressed up as a cat.

Wait.

Who is the owner of these dogs? You know, you need to keep your pets on leashes!

Sheesh!

You know you're desperate when you show up at a pet costume party without a pet.

Sorry, gals, cat ears and a slutty outfit does not a Halloween costume make.

[Imagse via WENN.]

Paternity tests and lesbians are just another part of Living Lohan.

Which is to say that the Lohans are a little honesty-challenged.

Remember when we told you how a rep for Dina and Ali said that the Lohan Ladies were meeting with famed music manager Johnny Wright?

Well, Wright's company - which manages such acts as Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara - issued a response to the "reports" that basically bitchslapped the Lohans - hard.

Says a rep for the manager:

"Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali's music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false."

In other words, "Only in your wildest dreams!"

Owned!
A rep for the momager and mini-40-year-old has - wisely - not commented.

And the battle of the Lohans continues. Yet again!

With Lindsay Lohan officially coming out of the closet this week and her professional acting career on hiatus, there's really not much to mention about her in the media.

But now with her crazy father releasing remarks to the public and Lindsay releasing her own remarks, she's back in the public's eye, where she loves to be.

After Michael Lohan said that Lindsay's girlfriend was a "bad influence" on his daugther, LezLo took to her blog to publicly talk about her dad, saying that he obviously needs to be on medication.

And, she added that "He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it's dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped."

Well, now there's more coming from Lezlo's side.

According to reports, Lindsay is so "scared" of her dad, that she's "taking out an order of protection."

Sources say "He's behaving so erratically that she's terrified he'll do something to her. She's contacted her lawyer to arrange this."

And sources add that even Linday's 34 14 year-old sister, Aliana Lohan, "already has an order of protection against him, as does Dina. No one is speaking with him until he gets help."

Actually, we think the ENTIRE Lohan clan should seek help!

[Image via WENN.]

Dina Lohan isn't the only one who wants to pimp out Lindsay Lohan's kid sister, Aliana!

Johnny Wright - who manages the Jonas Brothers and Justin Timberlake - wants to help fish Ali's floundering music career out of the toilet.

Or so someone would like us to believe!

Maybe it would help if she was, you know, actually talented?

But we'll see how it goes - Momma Lohan is not one to relinquish control (Or manager fees!). If anyone is gonna whore out her children, it's gonna be HER!

Look how well she did with LezLo!

But Wright says he works very well with the mothers of his bands.

When asked, a rep for Dina and Ali said, "We are meeting with [Wright's] firm."

Oh well, if Ali can't be salvaged, there's yet one more Lohan spawn to use.

Just when we were beginning to wonder when Michael Lohan would open his big mouth following Lindsay's coming out, we've finally got it.

That did not take long at all!

Michael is not one to disappoint! Especially when it comes to being a class act father!

In an email to reporters, Michael writes that he wants saMAN out of Lindsay's life and unable to think of his own material, he refers to Ronson as "SaMANtha" throughout.

Step off, Michael!

Blabbing to the press as any concerned parent would do, Michael says that he believes saMAN wrote the MySpace blog in which LezLo disses on her dad.

These people need to step away from the computer.

Daddy Lohan goes on to praise Joe Francis and agrees with the Girls Gone Wild founder that Samantha is actually controlling Lindsay.

"He wasn't a bad guy when he flew Lindsay around on his jet, opened the doors to his home or tried to help, was he?," says Michael.

Um, we'd like to remind you that Joe Francis is the man who gets underaged girls drunk and coaxes them into taking off their clothes.

Continuing his diatribe, Poppa Lohan these colorful words for Samantha:

"There is a lot more to Samantha then meets the eyes, not that what we see is too pleasing anyway! I mean, what's with this … 'person'??? Look at the way she 'dresses'? Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words! Personally, I think she is dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.

God will weed her out of Lindsay's life and at that time, you will finally see Lindsay back in the place where she belongs. Not doing independent films, guest starring on [a] TV show, being a guest judge on a reality TV show or making appearances at Samantha's DJ gigs. Is this the Lindsay we all knew and loved before Samantha came into her life? No!!! When she got out of Cirque Lodge everything looked good until Samantha came on the 'scene.'"

Reading that hurt our big fat head!

Michael adds that even though mother and ex-wife Dina Lohan publicly praised Ronson, she knows that Sam has upset Lindsay with threats of a tell-all book.

Dina could not be reached for comment.

Poppa Lohan concludes that he will not rest "until this dark, evil nemesis is out of Lindsay's life."

Is he talking about himself????

[Image via WENN.]

There's nothing "complicated" about the cancellation of Denise Richards's reality TV show.

No one cares!

A source told The Insider, "The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode. But the audience has dropped off."

We guess folks would rather watch Dina Lohan pimp out her younger daughter because her show's staying while Denise's receives the axe.

The best part is no one has bothered to give Denise the bad news.

She was spotted running around the Silverspoon Emmy gift lounge in Beverly Hills this wek excitedly telling everyone that her show had been renewed.

But, E! is now saying that no decision has been made.

She still might get the axe!

We hope the cameras are rolling when that poor unfortunate intern is sent to deliver Denise's pink slip because that would be a killer finale!

Literally!

[Image via WENN.]

It's been a while - DAYS! - since we heard from Lindsay Lohan's parents, but our prayers have been answered.

This time around it's momma Dina Lohan who's speaking out.

So what does the Orange Oprah have to say????

She claims she really likes Lezlo's girlfriend, saMAN Ronson.

That's not what daddy, Michael Lohan, had previously said.

Remember, Michael claimed that his concerns over the bad influence that is Ronson grew out of the shit Dina was telling him about LezLo and saMAN!

But Dina says that's not true.

And, Wednesday night, while she was at a benefit in NY with the happy couple, Dina spoke to reporters, naturally.

Momma said, "I love Lindsay and I love Samantha, if they are happy, I am happy. This is my child, I mean, what better place for a child to be than happy in her soul and her spirit."

How sweet and - yet - she seems so fake!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

When Michael Lohan's father passed away at the age of 73 last week, the ex-convict made a point to talk to the media about his kids and his horrible ex-wife, Dina.

Talk about being a media whore!!!

And of course, you'll recall that Lindsay Lohan spent the day of the wake hanging out and shopping with her girlfriend.

Well, now it's Daddy's turn to talk to the media AGAIN.

Hey, he has to pay his bills, right?

Michael has told E! News that he is "set to call truce and reunite with his famous daughter and the rest of his offspring at a burial for his father, Richard."

He says that although Lindsay was not present for the wake, she will be present for the final service.

Are you sure about that????

Daddy Lohan confirms, "She is going to be at the burial. All my kids will be there."

Is that a cue for the media to show up????

They should just BOYCOTT the funeral and allow the non-media loving family members to pay their respects in peace.

But, surprisingly enough, Michael even has nice things to say about Dina Lohan!

Someone is trying to do damage control!

He says "And I can't believe how great Dina has been. She has been wonderful. She has been the woman I married. She has been great."

Is someone on drugs??????

And as for his dad's remains, Michael continues to tell the media exactly what will happen, and when and where.

He says, "My father always wanted to be cremated," he said. "He wanted to have his ashes sprinkled in our county in Cold Spring Harbor, in the harbor. That was his favorite spot. So that is what we are going to do. We are going to get on our boat with probably like 50 or 60 people and go out. We are just going to sprinkle them together as a family."

And of course, what would a Michael Lohan interview be without more mentions of his daughter?

Michael says, "Lindsay is my daughter. Nothing will ever separate a father's love from his kids. And that is all that matters. No one will ever change that."

Sometimes you just need to learn to shut up!

[Image via WENN.]

This has got to be one of the worst weeks for the Lohans ever!

Dysfunction runs in Lindsay's family - on both sides.

The latest drama to plague her clan?

LezLo's uncle, Paul Sullivan, has been sentenced to a year and one day in jail.

Why? For what????

Well, Dina's brother was convicted of fraudulently claiming that his company lost business because of the Sept. 11 attacks.

Sullivan also was ordered to repay a $646,000 loan that he had defrauded from Small Business administration.

We sure hope that shit show known as Living Lohan has been filming this week!!!!!!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

It was only a matter of time before the pathetic and money-hungry famewhore got his wish!

Michael Lohan is determined to show y'all the 'truth' about Dina Lohan and how she was responsible for his attack on LezLo's love, saMAN Ronson.

According to TV Guide, a TV company's crafting a show around Michael telling all!

Daddy Lohan said to the pub,

"I'm going to do a one-hour special. Everyone is going to hear everything for themselves. They're going to hear everything Dina has to say. I have it all on tape — all recorded, time and date-stamped. You will hear it all. I have 101 text messages between Lindsay and I, and I have about 60 tape recordings of Dina…These lies have to stop. She can't say all these things to me and when I try to address it, deny everything. Dina's a hypocrite and I'm tired of it."

He's fucking CRAZY!!!!!!!

Michael says the show's "definitely" happening but because of contractual obligations he can't disclose too much detail.

But, he did mention that it could be broken up into a multi-part series.

We think one episode would be MORE than enough!

We also think he's full of shit!

[Images via WENN.]

It's just another day of the Lohans doing what they do best.

Giving us drama to drool over!

Michael Lohan has issued a new statement to OK! magazine about his 'war' with LezLo and saMAN Ronson.

He says his concerns grew out of the bad stuff Dina Lohan was telling him about LezLo and saMAN!

We can't wait to hear what Orange Oprah has to say! Things have been escalating ridiculously between Daddy, Lindz and saMAN, and Dina's been awfully quiet.

Uncharacteristic of her, wouldn't you say?

Here's Daddy Lohan's latest statement:

"When I first spoke out, I clearly stated that everything I said and my concerns were generated by my ex-wife, Dina… After a recent phone call from Lindsay while she was traveling on one of Samantha's DJ gigs, I became very concerned. It was then that we all agreed to have a mother/daughter/father sit-down when Lindsay got to NY.

Everything was arranged and agreed (I have dozens of texts and recordings with Dina to prove it). But when the time came on Sunday, Dina chose to go into NYC and have dinner with Sam, Sam's mother and Lindsay, rather than address real issues and make things better for Lindsay.

A day later, Dina told me that Sam was writing a book, that Sam was a negative influence on Lindsay and that Sam needs to be out of Lindsay's life….then she asked me how to do it!!

Matters became worse when Dina said Lindsay was in REAL danger and she needed to save her and get Lindsay into 'a place!' These are ALL Dina's words. Tell me, what father wouldn't be concerned and even pissed at Sam after hearing this!!???

To even imagine that Dina would then go on vacation is even more sickening! Should we actually believe a women who says whe doesn't party with Lindsay, get drunk or care about fame? She has been on video and photographed dozens of times with Lindsay, drunk in public, thrown out of events, had public fights with Lindsay and then does a reality show which was so far from the truth, it's disgusting!

Dina cares? PLEASE!!!! Lindsay was once stalked by a guy [name deleted]  who Dina trusted and I said from the get go that I didn't only for Dina to look the other way when I had to get a task force to track him down.

Dina took a percentage of Lindsay's money when I NEVER took a red cent! All the while, I only speak out when something is wrong or needs to be made right!

Dina is a money-loving, fame-seeking, self-serving deceiver, who comes from roots of the same.

Meanwhile they say I seek fame! Ha! I am out there doing charity work, going on mission trips, working with the United Nations and trying to help my daughter while spending sleepless nights with a father dying of cancer. Did Dina call my dad, or have the kids visit or send a card to a man who never hurt a fly? NO! Dina raised all this alarm and caused this whole thing!

While guilt may bring a response by some, others like Dina pass the buck and don't accept any responsibility at all.

All I want is for Lindsay to be healthy and in a good relationship! I want her to use the gifts she has in the best ways and to help others! I said it from the very beginning: Show me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are! People may deceive us, but our eyes and facts don't! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!"

Strong stuff!

Who's next?

[Images via WENN.]

Lindsay Lohan slapped on her blogging bra to discuss allegations that her 14-year-old sister Ali has breast implants. In the lengthy diatribe on her MySpace page, Lindsay also surprisingly defends her mom Dina who has the parenting skills of asbestos:

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here's the visual...
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me...
one of them being, "Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?"
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, "Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!"
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn't really come up with the proper response at the time.. there's many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you're not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye...
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light...
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she's out of town :(
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

"Til next time"? Christ, there's going to be more?! Excuse me for a second. I suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to fire a bullet into my face. BRB! :)